TotallyNuts' One Shot Archive
by TotallyNuts
Summary: A collection of my one-shot fics for all to see! A mixture of romance, humour and others... see inside for pairings! Mainly random stuff :) Contains yaoi- warnings given
1. Crushed Beauty

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Koei or Dynasty Warriors. I own zilch. Nothing. Zero. So leave me alone!

This isthe first one-shot of this collection that I originally did for PyroDragon- I'm not a huge fan of this pairing so it was a first. I just though it'd be a nice break from doing my main fic Crazy Days In Wu. I tried to do romance... I don't really write fluffy stuff. Hey, it was worth a try! So anyway here it is, and I apologise for making Sun Ce look like an idiot and very stupid. It was purely for the purpose of this fic. Enjoy!

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**Crushed Beauty**

Da Qiao decided that enough was enough. She couldn't take any more. Why had she even married that big oaf in the first place? Sun Ce drove her crazy most of the time, and there was only so much she could take. He would always come back drunk from victory parties, and when he was away, she knew that he slept with other women. It was quite obvious from the way he treated her sometimes. Her sister Xiao would always boast about how much Zhou Yu loved her and bought her pretty presents- Da couldn't remember the last time Ce ever did something romantic for her. The last time he probably did anything like that was when he proposed to her, but the romance was short lived. Everything changed after that.

What she longed for was someone who treated her right. Someone who treated her with respect for once, and didn't treat her like some kind of trophy wife. It was hard to find that kind of man, especially in Ancient China, and Da had certainly tried. She couldn't find anyone like that, so when Ce asked for her hand in marriage, she just accepted, worried that she'd end up unmarried for the rest of her life. But now she was married, and Da found that marriage with Ce was so unfulfilling. She'd spend all day in the castle with little to do, except hanging out with Xiao. Da wanted someone who'd spend time with her, not because they had to. She sighed as she sat on a bench in the Wu garden under the sun. It was a lovely day, and Ce didn't even want to take a walk with her, so she had shouted at him, calling him a lazy husband (not that he was listening). It was about time she had let all of her anger out. She hated him. Despised him more like. If only she could find someone else… or was it too late?

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Inside his room Lu Xun sat on his bed reading through some battle plans. The whole of Wu were due to go to Chi Bi in a few weeks and Xun always liked to be prepared well in advance. He was hoping to follow in the footsteps of his mentor Zhou Yu, and he also wanted to prove to everyone else that age simply doesn't matter when it comes to strategic genius. With his intelligence and expertise with his weapon of choice (his two twin sabers) he thought he was unstoppable. He had it all- an military career with excellent prospects, a nice place to live in a huge castle, and he was always surrounded by friends. Any other man would've been perfectly happy, but there was a space in Lu Xun's heart for something more. Something like love… 

Throughout his entire life Lu Xun had concentrated on his studies and physical training. His peers always said that he would grow to accomplish great things. But what about a wife, and a family? There was more to life than battle, and Lu Xun wanted to see that side of life. He had been thinking about it even more recently- what if he was going to die in Chi Bi? Would there be anyone who would miss him greatly and weep tears of sadness? Was he doomed to be lonely forever? Lu Xun sighed and closed his book before standing up, stretching, and walking over to the large window in his room.

It was a lovely day outside- the sun was shining and the sky was a clear blue shade. Perfect for a walk Xun thought, so he reached to the side to grab his sabers. From the corner of his eye he saw, outside in the courtyard, Da Qiao run from inside the castle and to a nearby bench. She looked upset- Xun could see her tears and tear-stained face from where he stood. He knew that she and Sun Ce must've had another argument… he would've hurt Ce for that if he hadn't been so kind natured. Ce was also hurting him too- it pained Xun greatly to see Da upset like that. On many occasions he had been there for her and comforted her, and offered his words of advice. He wanted to tell her so much that she should just ditch him and go for someone else- someone better who would treat her right. Someone who would support her no matter what happened. Someone who could protect and love her like the beauty she was, both inside and outside. Someone like him…

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"What kind of husband is he anyway?" Da cried quietly to herself. She used a sleeve from her dress to wipe away some of her tears but she couldn't stop the flow. She was too upset…she just wanted to be alone for a bit. No one understood her emotions except for Lu Xun, and he wasn't around. She relied on him to be a shoulder to cry on and she was surprised that he didn't mind. He'd always ask her how she was coping and she'd always give an honest answer. Sun Ce was too much of a dimwit to understand the complex female mind- he was just best for battle. That was where his mind was most of the time. 

Just as she took a deep breath to try and get herself together she heard some footsteps from behind. It wasn't her sister Xiao- the footsteps were too heavy. Plus Xiao was probably too busy admiring her husband. That meant it was a man…

"Look Sun Ce, if you've come to apologise, you can just-"

"Da Qiao, have you had another argument with Lord Sun Ce?"

Da turned around, and was pleased to see that instead of Sun Ce, was the more friendly face of Lu Xun. She smiled at him, and patted the bench for him to sit down next to her. He nodded and took a seat.

"Are you alright?"

Da nodded. "I should be. It's just that, well…" She trailed off, and a tear fell from her eye.

"You can tell me, Da. I'll listen. I always do" Xun moved closer to her and took a handkerchief out of his vest pocket ready to start mopping up the stream of tears. He was about to hand it to her when he found she had already started crying into his right arm. This was the usual routine- first she'd cry bucket loads, then the talking would begin. Lu Xun didn't mind, as long as she was safe from her 'husband'.

"Have I been completely stupid Xun?" she wailed. "Why did I let it get this far?"

"It's not your fault Da. I mean, it's not like you asked to be treated like that." Lu Xun gently moved her head and gave her a hug. He heard her sigh as she hugged him back. "Not all men are like that."

That was something Da could definitely agree on. She had met some lovely guys in her time, and she did regret not getting to know them better. It seemed that wherever she looked all of the other couples she saw were happier. Her relationship with Ce just didn't seem completely happy. She longed for a man who she could just talk to and connect with, and that wasn't what she had with Ce. He would most often go into a world of his own and talk about weapons and war- nothing intellectual. Conversations with him were a bit empty and she got bored easily. There was only one person who fitted all of her criteria…

"Xun?"

"Yes?"

"Have you ever felt that you've made one of the biggest mistakes of your life?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, have you had an amazing opportunity but thrown it away? I mean, what if everything in your life had been one big sham up until this point, and you wished you could go back and change everything?"

"Are you talking about your marriage Da?"

She nodded, and buried her head into his arm again. Of course she was talking about that- nothing else in her life had gone wrong. If only she could go back and choose someone else, someone like… Lu Xun.

Da often wondered why Lu Xun was still available. He was clever, intelligent, and around the same age as her- seemed perfect really, but it was impossible to tell how a relationship would go.

"Lu Xun?" she asked him.

"Yes Da?"

"Why are you still single?"

Lu Xun had to stop and pause. He wasn't one of those people who just confessed his feelings. But he had felt this way for far too long. And he didn't know how much more he could take of seeing Da like this. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to tell her how he felt. It might make her feel better he thought as he gathered all of the courage in him.

"I'm single because I can't have the person I feel so strongly for. She needs someone else, and I think I can be that someone else." Xun lowered his head- he had never opened up to anyone before, not even the other generals. He was just one of those people who bottled their feelings up and kept them secret from the rest of the world.

Da looked up at him. She didn't know he had feelings for anyone else. She thought that her last hopes were dashed completely. If she couldn't have him, who could she have? She had no interest in the other generals and no one was as kind, thoughtful or caring as he was. "So who is this girl that you feel so strongly for?" she asked as she dried her face. "Is it Xiao? I know she used to have a crush on you…"

"Xiao is too child-like for me. And she's very happy with Zhou Yu as it is."

"Sun Shang Xiang?"

"Do you know what Gan Ning would do to me if he found out about that one? The pirate's smitten with her and would probably kill me! Plus she's too wild for me. She's not my type…" He looked down at Da. "There's someone who is though."

"Who?"

"You."

The tears came again as Da felt something that she hadn't felt for a long time- sheer happiness. She beamed a wide smile and spread her arms out. She then wrapped them around Lu Xun. Lu Xun couldn't help but smile too- for the first time he felt like he was in love… He didn't know whether or not to tell her that. He still didn't know how she felt about him.

"I love you Xun!"

Lu Xun was a little bit shocked to say the least. No one had said that to him… ever. But these words were from Da, and that meant everything to him.

"I love you too Da, and I always will." He hugged her tightly holding her close to him. He was happy in the hug, but Da was more than happy. She pulled his head close to hers and attached her lips to his, locking them in a passionate kiss. All of their hidden feelings were revealed, and they couldn't believe that it had taken them this long. Da felt like the world had stopped and the only two people left at that moment were her and Lu Xun. She couldn't have cared less about Sun Ce- he could go to hell for all she cared. What mattered now was that she was happy. She had finally found someone worth staying with. Lu Xun was her perfect man… and it was just the beginning of her new life with her new love.


	2. Chase Me

**Disclaimer:** I don't own either Koei or Dynasty Warriors. I just write the fan fiction!

I added some humour in this one to make it more light hearted and cutesy. Aw...

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**Chase Me! (Lu Xun/Xiao Qiao)**

"Don't think that you can get away that easily!"

"Oh yeah? Try and catch me then!"

Xiao Qiao ran around one of the corners of the Wu castle as fast as she could, occasionally looking back behind her shoulder to see if he was still chasing her. She couldn't help but giggle to herself as she held on tightly to his hat, keeping it close so she wouldn't drop it. Today the younger Qiao was in a rather playful mood but it wasn't unusual- she was normally this hyperactive! She had asked everyone in the castle if they wanted to have some fun but it seemed that they were all too busy. In the end she had resorted to stealing Lu Xun's hat straight from his head and dragging him into her game…

"Please Xiao! Give me back my hat!" Lu Xun called out as he turned the corner. Xiao stopped in her tracks and turned around. Xun stopped and smiled, thankful that he had a chance to get his breath back. His smile soon faded as she smiled an innocent smile and waved his hat in front of herm giggling as she did so.

"Come and get it!" she said in a sing song voice. Lu Xun walked closer to her, but with each step he made she took a step backwards. He could tell she was still in a game mood. iTwo can play this game/img he thought to himself. iTime for a little reverse psychology/img…

"That's alright Xiao!" he said. "You can keep it. It's not like I need it. I can always get a new one…" With that he turned on his heels and walked back in the opposite direction. He went back around the corner but stayed against the wall out of sight, waiting for her to make her move.

Xiao stood there looking quite puzzled. Lu Xun had given up that easily? It wasn't like him to quit a game so soon. She was actually looking forward to another chase! She sighed- maybe he really wasn't in the mood for any games. Xiao started walking in the direction of Lu Xun in order to find him and give him back his hat, but just as she walked around the corner…

"I'll be taking that!"

Lu Xun's hand flew in front of her and grabbed his hat right from her hands. He then flashed a smile at her before running past her and heading for the stables. Xiao Qiao's expression turned into a huge grin as she realised that Xun was in the mood to play. She immediately started to chase him, still not tired from the previous chase. She still had energy to burn and she was determined to steal his hat again!

Lu Xun laughed as he turned around to see the younger Qiao commence her chase. He knew she wouldn't call it quits so early on. Besides he was having fun- playing chase was definitely better than sitting through one of Zhou Yu's strategy lessons! The stables were approaching fast and he knew that he could lose her here. He had a suspicion that Xiao wouldn't go near it due to the smell of hay and horse manure so there was a chance she'd stop. He ran faster and as he did, turned his head around one last time to see how far away she was from him- she was a good distance away so he continued towards the stables. He turned his head to face forwards…

SMACK!

A great pain flooded through Lu Xun's head as he was stopped by a tall and large wooden pole near the stable entrance. He had ran straight into it without even noticing it. Xun felt dizzy and fell backwards onto the ground, landing on his back looking upwards into the bright blue sky.

"XUNIE!"

A panicked Xiao ran straight over to her friend who was now moaning in pain. There was a large vertical red mark on his face from the impact. The smell of the stables was powerful and overwhelming but Xiao knew that she had to help him. She couldn't stand when someone got hurt so when she got closer to him she knelt down over him.

"Xunie? Are you alright?" she said as she waved a hand in front of his face.

"Xiao?" he replied weakly. "Is that you, or is it an angel?"

The younger Qiao giggled. "Snap out of it Xunie! You're concussed!"

"Am I? Or you really an angel in disguise?"

"Don't be silly Xun!" Xiao said as she blushed at the compliment. "We need to get you some help- you hit the pole pretty hard!"

"Oh it doesn't matter… as long as you're here I'll be fine…" Xun wasn't alright though- he felt as if there were starts flying around his head, but he had butterflies in his stomach. From where he lay Xiao looked beautiful- the sunlight was shining onto her hair and her skin was radiant. The light enhanced all of her features and Xun thought he was dreaming for a moment… either that or he was hallucinating…

Xiao giggled again. "You don't really mean that!"

"Yes I do…" he said as he tried to sit up. "I may be concussed but I'm telling the truth. I think you're wonderful, and it's not my headache talking…"

Xiao nervously looked down to hide her blushing. She would've used her fans to hide it but they weren't with her. She looked back at him and smiled. Then, she leant closer and kissed his cheek.

"I think you're wonderful too Xun!" she said. She beamed a huge smile and got up to her feet. "Can you stand up?"

Lu Xun got up to his feet and regained his balance. His head was throbbing but he was happy. "Why do you want me to stand?"

"We're playing a new game!" she said in a girly tone. She kissed him on the lips. "It's called 'Kiss Chase'!" She got ready to run. "Now chase me!"


	3. You Are My Prince

**Disclaimer:** As much as I'd love it, I don't own Dynasty Warriors or the wonderfulness that is the Koei Corporation.

My first deathfic, so get the tissues at the ready! This was a request for my good friend Sideways who is partial to deathfics :)

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**You Are My Prince (Sun Ce/Xiao Qiao)**

I stand outside his room waiting for my turn. It's the day I've been dreading for a while now but I knew it would come. For the past week Sun Ce has been deteriorating fast- I remember my sister Da telling me that he had been poisoned by an arrow wound and I had been shocked to see the effects of the poison. At first Sun Ce was violently sick and had to be confined to his room. I was scared and frightened at first but he kept reassuring me and telling me not to worry and that he'd be fine. In my heart I knew he'd get worse, and he has. That's why I'm here today,

Da's in there now and it's my turn next. The other members of the Sun family have already said their final goodbyes- as they left I saw Sun Shang Xiang in tears with Sun Quan comforting her, I don't normally see her cry like that so I know that Ce must be bad. Da must be worse. She's expecting their first child and now it has to grow up without a father. That's why I've been quite about everything that's happened. I could never confess to my affair- it would break Da's heart and she would never forgive me. I never meant to fall for Sun Ce and I'm sure he never meant to fall for me. We just couldn't help ourselves. The attraction between us was too strong and great, and it was hard to let it go. It started with a kiss but graduated to more. I've found it so difficult to sneak around the castle just to see him alone- I couldn't let my sister know that I was seeing her husband behind her back, and if Zhou Yu ever found out he'd be so hurt. But Ce means so much to me. I don't want to lose him…

Suddenly the room door opens and Da steps out into the hallway. Tears are streaming down her tear-stained face and her eyes are red from crying. I immediately put my arms around her and give her a comforting hug. It's the best I can do right now for my sister- I've already promised her that I'll help her raise her child after Sun Ce goes. I don't have any children of my own as of yet so I might get some practice. And the child will remind me of Ce and keep him alive in my memory. Nobody knows how much I love that man. I wish I could've been the one to marry him instead of Da. I'm not saying that Zhou Yu is a bad husband. In fact he's wonderful and cares for me so much, but Ce and I have so much in common. We both enjoy having a laugh with each other and we don't believe in being serious all the time. We just match.

"Xiao…"

"Yes sis?" I reply, still hugging her.

"I'm going to miss him so much… I love him so much… I need him…" She cries some more on my shoulder so I just hug her tighter.

"We're all going to muss him greatly- it won't be the same without him."

"He's my husband and we haven't lived our lives together yet. He won't even get to see his child grow up…" She trails off and bursts into tears. She shakes and starts to become hysterical. I take a clean handkerchief and hand it to her as she lets go of me and goes to sit on a nearby chair.

"Am I… am I allowed to say goodbye to my brother-in-law?" I ask nervously, not knowing whether or not I'm ready for this. All I get as a response are some nods as Da cried into the handkerchief. I nod and walk over to the door. My hand starts to quiver as I reach for the golden handle. I use all of the courage in me to hold it. Once I am touching it I twist it a little so that the door opens, and I carefully step inside.

The room, although it I light outside, is dimmed as the thick curtains are drawn with minimal light coming in. It smells of incense and I can barely see. I can make out the four poster bed so I quietly walk over to it- I know Sun Ce is there, but can he hear me? I suspect he can as I se movement coming from where he is lying.

"Is that you Xiao?" he said quietly as he sees me approach.

"Yes Sun Ce, it's me." I kneel down next to the bed and look at him. He looks like a shadow of his former self- his skin is haggard and he looks twice his age, He's also frightfully pale… I had no idea poison could do this much to someone. The tears well in my eyes as he looks at me,

"Please don't cry Xiao- let our last moment be happy…"

"But I don't want to let you go!" I cry out. "I need you so much…"

Ce uses what strength he had left to reach his hand out to me. I see this and put my hands around it, holding onto him. "I need you to be strong Xiao," he started. "You need to be strong for me, your sister, and most importantly yourself. I know you can do it… that's why I love you. You're so strong inside and you've always supported me whenever everyone else hasn't. Our love will continue… I know it will…"

"But Ce," I interrupt, "what about Da? She's expecting your child…"

"I love her too, but it's not the same as what we have. There is, or was, so much attraction between us, even right from the start. You mean so much to me, and I don't want to leave you at all."

"Same here," I whisper, and pull his hand closer. I kiss the top of it and rest my head against it on the bed. "I love you Sun Ce."

"I love you too Xiao…"

His voice sounds so weak and I know that the end is coming. I hold on tighter, not wanting to let him pass. My head is close to his, and I start to sob. I've never had to let go of anyone I've loved and now I'm about to I feel so useless. Was there anything I could've done to prevent this? We hired all of the best healers yet none could heal him fully. His passing was inevitable…

A strange coldness sweeps over me as I feel Sun Ce's last breath by my ear, His grip loosens as his body relaxes and becomes no more. The tears fall from my eyes and onto his now dead body and I can't control myself. There's nothing I can do anymore. I have no-one to truly love, for my prince has gone…


	4. A Comforting Hand YAOI

**Disclaimer:** Dynasty Warriors is not owned by me, and neither is Koei.

Yaoi warning! Yep, this is yaoi. Another short fic by me which I did as a request. Enjoy!

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**A Comforting Hand (Lu Xun/Jiang Wei)**

"No… please no! You can't leave me! Please! Nooooo!"

Lu Xun tossed and turned in his sleep as his slumber was plagued by his recurring nightmare. He had lost his family before joining Wu and for the past few weeks he repeatedly lost them in his drams. Each night he feared going to sleep, terrified that he'd let go of them again. His parents, siblings, close relatives- they all meant so much to him. What tormented him the most was that each time he lost them in a different way. Murder, fire, kidnap- either way they'd be torn away from him and he'd be left alone, just as he was now.

He opened his eyes in fright but was quickly comforted by the familiar surroundings of his Chi Bi cabin. Wu and Shu were at war against Cao Cao so they were all on the river in battle. Some generals were on night watch and fortunately Lu Xun was not one of them. Lu Meng and Gan Ning had been the ones to draw those short straws. Xun almost wished he had been chosen for night watch- maybe I wouldn't have my nightmares then he had thought, but what would stop him from having those nightmares in the day? Nothing it seemed. He wiped some of the sweat drops from his face and took a deep breath to calm himself. This couldn't keep happening- too many sleepless nights and the fear was getting to him. All the work he did as a strategist-in-training didn't help either. Xun stood out of his bed, grabbed his robe, and walked out of his room to try and find something to calm his nerves…

"What do you mean Prime Minister?"

Jiang Wei stood before his master Zhuge Liang in the strategy room. He was holding onto his spear and clutching a scroll.

"I mean that our duty here is done. I've made the southern winds blow and I do not think that we are needed here any longer."

"So when are we leaving Prime Minister?"

"Once Pang Tong has succeeded in his mission of chaining the Wei ships together." Liang paused. "I suppose we could stay and help Sun Jian's army for a few days. I'm sure they wouldn't mind. You may leave now Jiang Wei- goodnight."

Jiang Wei bowed down to the Sleeping Dragon and made his way out of the room. He quietly closed the door behind him before making his way to his own room. It was quiet but he could still hear some noises from the deck. Or was it from the deck? Jiang could hear some noises coming from beyond the entrance to the cabins- if it was an intruder then the whole ship was in danger. He took a firm grasp of his spear and headed to the direction of the noise.

"Hello?" he asked in the darkness. He stepped closer to the door and could see a faint shadow in front of him. "Who's there?" All he could hear was a faint breathing noise so he moved closer. Jiang picked up from the wall a lit torch and he moved it in front of the noise- he was surprised to see Lu Xun the Wu strategist curled up in a ball on the floor. He looked distressed…

"Please…" whimpered Lu Xun. "Leave me alone…"

"I refuse to leave you here by yourself. Did something happen? Why are you upset?"

"I'd rather not talk about it…"

"I, Jiang Wei, am a very good listener and will do my best to help you in whatever way I can. Please, you can tell me. You don't even have to tell me here. I can make us some tea and we can talk in my cabin." Jiang Wei looked to his fellow strategist for a response, even if it was just a nod or a mumble. He wanted to help an ally in distress…

Lu Xun mumbled what sounded like an 'okay' and stood up. Jiang Wei nodded and showed Xun the direction to his room. It was a little further down than the others because it was Wu's ship, so Jiang had been put up in one of the many spare cabins. Once they reached his room, Jiang opened the door and allowed Xun to step inside first.

"After you," Jiang said politely. Xun quickly shuffled into the small room and looked around. It was a little smaller than his own but it still had the usual things in it. A couple of chairs, a small desk, some fire lamps on the walls… a bed…

As Jiang Wei closed the door behind them Xun took a look around. It was nice of the Shu strategist to let him in- Xun couldn't think of anyone who was as friendly as he was.

"I'll just go and make us some tea- I won't be a minute. Please, make yourself comfortable." Jiang then quickly left the room leaving Lu Xun alone. Once Jiang had gone Xun made his way over to one of the chairs. He noticed on he small desk nearby some scrolls so he decided to have a read.

It was mainly about different strategies and plans that Liu Bei had suggested and what Zhuge Liang was working on. Xun didn't know whether he should be reading this- Wu and Shu wouldn't be allies forever and if anyone from Shu found out that someone in Wu knew about their top secret plans… the consequences would be grave. Just as Xun moved his prowling eyes away from the scroll the door opened and Jiang Wei reappeared, except this time he was carrying a tray with a pot of tea and two cups on it. He closed the door behind himself and walked over to the desk. Xun moved the scrolls out of the way as Jiang set the tray down and sat in the other chair.

"So, you seemed quite distressed in the hall," Jiang said as he started to pour out the tea. "Do you want to talk about it?" He passed Xun a cup of steaming hot tea.

"I don't know… it's just a recurring nightmare I keep having." Lu Xun sighed and then took a sip of his tea. "It's nothing you should worry about…"

"A recurring nightmare? Prime Minister once told me they have a lot of meaning. Can you describe it for me?"

"Well," Xun started, "I keep losing my family. I've already lost them before. Bandits attacked our village and they were killed, all except me. I didn't know what to do- I felt so alone." He looked down at the floor. "And I'm still alone." He felt like crying- just talking about it was bringing back all of the painful memories. Could he really trust Jiang Wei?

Before he could say anything he felt a strong hand on his shoulder. It was Jiang Wei's. "You're not alone Lu Xun. You never will be."

The feel of Jiang's hand on his shoulder filled Xun with a feeling of comfort. He looked up at the young Shu strategist's face and smiled. It was nice that someone cared about him. If he had told anyone from Wu about this he was sure that they would've laughed or failed to understand…

The two strategists looked at each other for a while, neither of them knowing what to say. _He's so friendly_ thought Lu Xun as he gazed at Jiang Wei, his hand still on is shoulder. _I never realised a Shu general could be so understanding_. Xun then found himself staring into Jiang's deep brown eyes. They were so mesmerising and beautiful, but for a split second Xun glanced at Jiang's lips. Confused he darted his eyes back to Jiang's…

_Did he just look at my lips?_ Thought Jiang Wei. _Hmmm… I wonder if Lu Xun is like me…_ Still looking at Lu Xun Jiang Wei leant forward, ever so slowly, his grip becoming just a little stronger as he did. His face moved closer to Xun's… more specifically Xun's lips.

Lu Xun moved his head back slightly when he felt the warm brush of Jiang Wei's soft lips against his. A tingling feeling rushed through his body but it was a good feeling. Through the small gap between them Xun looked into Jiang's comforting eyes again. It didn't take long for him to decide what he wanted…

The two strategists pressed their lips together and they locked passionately. The way Jiang was kissing Xun made the Wu general feel completely relaxed and comfortable. Xun wasn't fazed at all by the fact that he was kissing a man- Jiang Wei was understanding and was caring. He didn't know any females who were like that. He continued kissing Jiang and forgot about his nightmare altogether. Jiang's lips were slowly erasing all trace of the bad visions of his bad dream and throwing him into a state of calm and peace. It was too good… Xun wanted more.

Xun lifted Jiang's hand from his shoulder and moved his face away. Jiang looked slightly confused- he thought that he was enjoying this? He then noticed a spark in the young man's eyes. He also noticed a sweet smile forming from Xun's mouth. Jiang watched as Lu Xun stood up and reached his arm out to him. He took Xun's hand, stood up, and found himself being led to the bed against one of the walls.

To Jiang Wei's surprise Lu Xun pushed him down on the bed and started to undo the buttons on his upper clothing. Jiang smiled to himself… it was going to be an enjoyable night…


	5. The Paddle YAOI

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, NOTHING! Just the storyline!

This story is YAOI so if you're adverse to it don't read. It's as simple as that. And sorry if this is a bit one-sided, but my naughty side started to show and I made Cao Cao very dominating. Just harmless fun ;) Enjoy!

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**The Paddle (Cao Cao/Liu Bei)**

Damn it Cao Cao's castle is huge thought Liu Bei as he walked through the halls. He didn't know why he was sneaking around it anyway- it was one of Zhang Fei's drunken dares, and poor Liu Bei had lost. The Shu generals were staying in Xu Chang while discussions were taking places, much to some of the generals' annoyance. They had decided to stay in their designated rooms and keep to themselves- one reason was to avoid the evil glare of the Hero of Chaos, and another reason to avoid Zhang He. Somehow they enjoyed their green outfits and didn't fancy a colour change to purple or pink.

Liu Bei stumbled through the darkness and tried to look closely at the doors. He was trying to look for the Lady Zhen's room, for Cao Pi was away in a nearby town. The drunken Zhang Fei had dared Bei to go up to her and make a pass at her, and hopefully get some action. All of the other Shu generals had agreed- poor Bei hadn't had any action since Liu Chan entered the world. They hoped that for once Bei would go and have some fun rather than concentrating on the matter at hand, leading Shu into victory (they were too drunk to really care about what Wei did). The wall lamps made everything barely visible and Liu Bei couldn't see the doors properly. He walked down the corridor and stopped near an old portrait to look behind him. From around a distant corner Zhang Fei and Guan Yu were putting their thumbs up encouraging him. He knew he couldn't go back now, especially after what he had said. Now he had to prove to everyone that he could "get more action than Dong Zhuo"…

Looking back in front of him he saw a large wooden door. This must be the Lady Zhen's room he thought as he touched the golden handle. All of the other doors looked the same but this was at the end of the corridor. It must've been Zhen Ji's… weren't women always located at one end of the corridor? Bei shrugged his shoulders and twisted the handle before he entered.

The room was dimly lit and Bei squinted so that he could see a lone figure sleeping peacefully in the bed. The room was well decorated- Zhen Ji had good taste that was for sure! Liu Bei straightened his back and walked over to the large bed, double checking that her husband wasn't there. He knew that only one person was in the bed so he tiptoed quietly over to it and lifted over the duvet. He climbed in slowly and turned to face the sleeping Zhen Ji. Wait a minute he thought as he examined 'her' face… Zhen Ji doesn't have facial hair!

"Uhhh…"

The sleeping figure moaned and moved an arm around Bei, who froze. He was trapped, in the same bed as Cao Cao? Surely this was just some horrible dream and he was asleep? He closed his eyes tight and opened them, hoping that the surroundings would magically change into his comfortable and cosy Shu bedroom, but no, all he could see was the same room of Cao. He took a gentle hold of Cao's arm and tried to move it, but whenever he moved it Cao Cao would make more sounds! He started to sweat and panic, not knowing what to do- he started to slide out of the bed, just until…

"What are YOU doing in my bed?"

Cao Cao was livid and he shot an evil glare towards his Shu counterpart. Liu Bei froze in terror.

"I'm sorry! I thought you were Lady Zhen Ji!"

"Do I have breasts and long hair?" Cao Cao looked at Bei sternly. "Well, DO I?"

"No, no, you don't! I'll be leaving now!" Liu Bei went to stand up and started walking, but found that someone was pulling on his robe. Nervously he turned around and found that it was Cao grasping onto it. "Am I not allowed to leave?"

Cao Cao slid out of bed and, while holding onto Liu Bei, pulled on his robe to cover up his bare backside. "I don't think so. You entered my room without permission, so therefore you must be punished."

Bei's eyes widened at the sound of 'punishment'. "But we are allies- surely there is another way out of this?" Cao Cao shook his head and pulled the Shu leader towards a wooden cupboard.

"Listen Xuande, very rarely do I get to have fun. I'm old and trying to run a kingdom here for crying out loud. I need to stay ahead of the game. Do you think I have time for fun and games?" Cao watched as Liu Bei shook his head, his eyes pleading for mercy. "Clearly your little prank backfired as you were stupid enough to go into the wrong room, and now you've fallen into my trap."

"What trap?"

"Ah, my good friend, you do not know the traditions of Wei!" Cao Cao pulled out of a draw a wooden paddle. "Anyone who enters my room while I am asleep gets punished by me in my own special way. Some of the generals come here frequently just for the 'punishment', especially Zhang He." He then led Liu Bei to a chair. "Now, lean into this chair, don't sit on it."

Seeing the paddle Liu Bei gulped, knelt down on the ground, and leant forwards into the chair so that his head rested on the seat. He closed his eyes, wishing that it would end. He didn't know what Cao Cao was going to do to him- this man was unpredictable and no one knew what he'd do next. Before he knew it, he found his trousers becoming looser and looser as the Wei leader untied them, and eventually they fell down to his knees. It was cold so Bei immediately felt the cold air on his ass. What in heavens name was Cao Cao planning?

Cao Cao tapped the paddle on his hand lightly, the sound sending shivers down Liu Bei's spine. He practiced swinging it in the air a little, testing the swing and making a swift whoosh noise. His targets were the two firm Shu butt cheeks, and he didn't intend on missing. After a few seconds he raised the paddle in the air and with one swift movement landed the paddle straight onto the delicate flesh of Liu Bei.

Bei yelped in pain, burying his head into the seat as Cao Cao got his way. What sort of punishment was this? This was torture! "Please Cao Cao!" he pleaded through tears. "Please stop!"

"No, you haven't been punished enough you Shu bitch!" the paddle struck Liu Bei again, causing more tears to fall down his face. "You have yet to realise my true power!"

The spanking continued with Liu Bei crying his eyes out, desperately begging Cao Cao to stop, but he didn't realise that this was just fuel for Cao's fire. The more he moaned the harder the paddle came. His butt cheeks were on fire, burning red hot, but he couldn't do anything. Each strike kept on coming and soon the pain turned into numbness. Bei didn't want to admit it, but it was actually becoming tolerable.

Cao Cao slowed down with the 'beatings' as he noticed that less noise was coming from Bei. "Quiet, eh? Or are you starting to enjoy this?"

"What? Of course I'm not…" Liu Bei trailed off leaving his sentence unfinished. Was he unsure of what he'd said… was he really enjoying it?

"So you want more?"

"No! I just want to get back!"

"You really want to go back so soon? But the fun is just beginning!"

"This is NOT fun!" Liu Bei got up to his feet and pulled up his trousers, holding them up without tying the belt. "I can't believe this is how you treat your guests?"

Cao Cao shook his head. "No, just you. I guess part of me wanted to see that tight ass of yours!" He laughed to himself as Liu Bei turned a bright shade of red and stormed towards the door. Cao rushed over and before Liu Bei left he patted his red raw backside. "Surely you'd like to stay for a bit longer Xuande? I promise I'll be good this time…"

Not for one minute did Liu Bei trust the evil sly grin on Cao's face. He was unsure about leaving or not- he knew his brothers would be waiting outside for him. Could he face the humiliation? Bei quickly grabbed hold of the handle and ran out of the room. To his shock and absolute horror he came face to face with his two oath brothers. Their jaws were dropped as far down as they could possibly go, and their eyes were wide in surprise.

"Xuande!" Yu said deeply, looking worryingly at the embarrassed Liu Bei and the grinning Cao Cao. "What were you doing in there?"

Fei noticed the bright red colour of his brother's cheeks. They were very red indeed… "I don't think I want to know what went on in there!"

"Xuande was a bad boy so I merely taught him a lesson…" Cao smirked. "Have any of you seen Zhang He around?" Guan Yu and Zhang Fei grabbed hold of Liu Bei, who looked as if he was about to break down, and shook their heads. "Hmmm… that's strange. He's late for his appointment… I suppose I'll go to bed now. It was nice playing with you Xuande… maybe another time, eh?" He gave a wink to Liu Bei before disappearing back into his room, laughing his head off on the way.

"Don't say anything," Bei warned as he was helped back into the room. "Don't say a thing…"

"Why?" questioned Fei. "Will you spank us?"

Bei's oath brothers let go of him and started to roll on the floor, laughing raucously. They howled loudly as Bei stormed off to his room, taking wide strides in his steps. He'd had enough for one night…


End file.
